This year I don’t have a word. This year, I don’t have a list of goals. The only thing I’m bringing with me into this new year is a fiery intention to live— really live— god like live, live— and allow life to flow to and through me… to be the living breathing vessel in which life, the divine, the holiest of holies is expressing itself through, by simply allowing it to.
God, what would that look like? Have you thought about that? How you want your life to feel, as you intentionally co-create it? As opposed to mindless lists of things you want to accomplish before you’re 40?
I say, we go around the dinner table, wherever you find yourself on New Years Eve and table an honest discussion about how exhausting it is to try and keep up with the pace of the rest of the world. What about your world because that’s the only one that matters… and we need to be asking ourselves more important questions like, “what is true for me and WHY?”
I’ve already decided I’m not going try and cram a years worth of growth and lessons into one final post before a new decade hits…If i’m honest, I could write an entire book about how this year molded me & threw me into a kiln to polish off— But I will say this…
Had you asked me 6 months ago, I would have been ready to send 2019 off early with a middle finger. Truth is, with this year coming to a close, I’ve softened to what these past 12 months gifted me with— a lot. In fact, looking back, I love this year so much, and maybe it’s because I’m learning to love it all. The alls of life— So, with that said… this year deepened me.
With facades and masks aside, there were times, months even, where I felt completely and utterly lost. This has been the most transformational year for me… and what I can say, as I look back with a clearer view, the transformation is what made this year so tough. Growth did not go easy on me. There was a long period of time where I couldn’t see the forest through the trees.
And truthfully? That bothered me… it bothered me so much because I felt I had lost control. But I hadn’t and deep down I knew that and right now I know that more than ever. I was being asked over and over again to trust in my Universe— to trust that things would become clear when they needed to be— I had to settle in, and settle in long and hard with the idea that I was exactly where I needed to be, for reasons that were not clear to me, yet.
But that are so clear now.
The in-betweens of life are some of the most difficult. Feeling like you’re being stretched from one place to another—no longer where you once were and not yet where you’re going…
In the middle somewhere.
And what I can say to that is, even though it feels like you’ll be there forever— you never are because life is a continuous cycle of beginnings middles and endings, circling us forward into our next + better + wiser version.
Cheers to that, friends. Cheers to that.
So… while I reflect on the last year— in my own personal journal… I want to invite you to do the same, right along with me and as we look back at previous versions of who we were, let’s also focus on who we want to be and how we want to show up, in a world that needs us.— In world begging us to come alive within it.
With your eyes closed and hand over heart, take some moments to get quiet and explore the insides of you for a moment. Allow yourself to let go of anything weighing heavily on the mind or on the heart, and catch your breath. When you feel you’re in a more grounded, centered place, grab your journal, a pen, your favorite cup of goodness and let’s explore deeper.
- What was the hardest thing about this year and why?
- What did you do that you really wanted to?
- What’s still on the list?
- What feels heavy?
- What feels light?
- Are there any patterns that you know keep you stuck in a familiar cycle?
- Did you let go or change any limiting beliefs about yourself or the world, that made you feel more empowered?
- What beliefs still keep you playing small?
- What can you celebrate about yourself.
- What’s the one thing you do, you want to stop doing?
- What’s one thing you don’t do, you want to start doing?
- Who are you?
- Who do you want to be?
- How did you deepen?
- What softened you?
- What hardened you?
- What are you taking with you, and what are you leaving behind?
Revealing the Gold Dust of Truth
The one thing I’ve gotten in a habit of asking myself is, “why does this keep showing up?” and “what is it here to teach me?” And the beautiful thing about that is, you already know the answer, but you have to be willing to look deep enough. So, in all that you wrote, where are the lessons and how can you find the gratitude within them? Where did you grow and in what ways were you stretched and pulled from who you were, to who you’re on your way to being, and how are you going to show up for yourself, in ways you didn’t this year? How can you look deeper into the answers that may not be so obvious? Look within each of those things that you wrote, and what are the things you want to pack away in to your heart into this new chapter, and what are the things that bind you to heaviness that you want to release with grace?
I write lot about intention and the importance of being intentional—this is your way of consciously imprinting your soul signature into the fabric of this universe, as if to say, these are my directions— this is how I want to feel, act and be, in the world I am creating— and then you follow through. This is a thoughtful stamp on what you want to see in your world…So, if you want to have a hand in the magic of it all— you have to get your heart and mind on the same page— how? You let your heart lead and your mind follow.
Your Intention is your imprint and your heart is the guide— get in there.
So, to start, settle into the heart space— feel yourself here now— breathe some breaths there… open yourself up to the here and now. There is such intense peace in the present moment, if you allow yourself to be present, so do this, and do it often. When you’re fully present within the moment and feel grounded and centered, for the next while, write without thinking too hard or at all— how you want the next year of your life to look and feel.
Feel my friends, feel.
How do you see yourself BEing? What are you doing in those moments? Who’s there with you? What primary emotion is present… is it love? Is it excitement? it is joy? it is ease? Peace? Is it all of those things?
Do this, and do it daily— make it a part of your morning ritual or nightly routine. Stay focused on the feeling of it all, keep your gratitude big and be present with what it feels like to open yourself to it. Revisit and re-write and spend time every single day embodying your script, your intentions, your creation.
& Then Show the world Who The Hell You Are.
Show up. Show up everyday, and when it’s hard to show up or you don’t feel like showing up, show up anyway. Go back to the page in your journal where you wrote what your grand intentions were, to start the new year… go back to what you’ve written and read it out loud to remind yourself, when you’ve forgotten what this was all for, and remember your excitement to start, and start again. As this chapter comes to a close and a new one begins, I wish you all a year of present moment living with a large side of magic and may your actions align with your visions as we continue to co-create together in this beautiful dance of life.
I feel considerably lucky to somehow, weirdly, wherever you may be, to be a part of your story and you mine.
Here’s to the best one yet.