I found myself on the floor, in the fetal position in a friend’s home.
There was nothing left of me to give on that Thursday night in September two years ago. I was empty and drained of every last molecule of energy in my body.
I had just resumed and ended yet another yelling match with my soon to be ex husband on the phone about what was mine and what was his.
It was an endless soul sucking merry go-round each phone conversation— And I physically, emotionally and mentally could not do it, again.
This senseless act of fighting about things—
They were just things after all— i could purchase new things and a new house, someday— So I left him with everything, except the clothes in my closet.
For a month and a half, I lived out of my car— in between couches and guest bedrooms of friends houses, who opened their arms to me.
I talked with the universe and God and whoever would listen those nights I was alone and was comforted amidst this decision that felt like it took all of me with it.
This was the first time I felt held by something bigger than me.
And somehow amidst my life that had been flipped upside down, There wasn’t chaos.
There was peace
For the first time, in a long time.
Everything seemed layed out for me— and the timing was just too coincidental.
A client of mine offered me her entire condo, for a month because she was out of town.
I was floored at just how supported I was.
All of this to say, you’re never alone.
And when spirt is stirring your soul into something you’re scared shitless to do,
Don’t doubt for a second you won’t be cradled in the arms of the maker.
It was in these moments, I made peace with God.
It was in these moments, I learned to trust, something far bigger than me.
These moments of struggle and hardship are like a pressure cooker.
Pressurizing our souls for what comes next.
Whether it be the next lesson
Or the next blessing.
It matters not, for where you’re going.
On the other side of the mountains you have to climb, is the view.
And you will get to look down from up there, after all the times you wanted to give up, and you will say, “I did this.”
You’ll breathe in and you’ll know the hard part is over.